Insights
Sep 22, 2025
How to Tell Someone They’re Being Racist, Without Saying They’re Racist
Let’s be honest, telling someone they’ve said something racist is about as comfortable as a tight shoe on a long walk. Especially at work. You don’t want to blow things up or damage relationships. But staying silent? That’s not an option either. Every unchecked microaggression, stereotype or ‘off’ remark quietly signals that this behaviour is acceptable, and it chips away at inclusion.
So, how do you speak up without making someone shut down? How do you address the issue while keeping the conversation constructive?
Here’s a four-step strategy, backed by research in bias, group dynamics and workplace communication, to help you respond in real time. And yes, it works without dropping the R-word.
Scenario
You’re in a meeting. A colleague pipes up:
“I just think some people are more suited for client-facing roles. You know, people who fit in naturally.”
You freeze. Is this about race? Class? Accent? Maybe all three? Either way, something feels off. Now what?
1. Separate the person from the behaviour
Instead of labelling someone as racist, focus on what was said and how it could land.
Try:
- “That comment might come across differently to someone who’s been excluded for how they look or sound.”
- “I don’t think that was your intention, but it could be taken as reinforcing a stereotype.”
The research backs this up. Czopp, Monteith and Mark (2006) found that when feedback targets behaviour and not character, people are more likely to reflect and less likely to get defensive.
2. Use one clear, simple phrase
Sometimes less is more. A short, sharp question can open the door to reflection without escalating things.
For example:
- “That felt a bit loaded, can you explain what you meant by that?”
- “I’ve heard similar comments used to exclude people before. Is that what you were going for?”
Psychologist Derald Wing Sue (2019) calls these “microinterventions”: Tiny but intentional nudges that disrupt bias before it takes root.
3. Let your body language do some of the talking
Words aren’t the only tool here. A pause, raised eyebrow or shift in posture can signal disagreement without saying much at all.
And in cultures like Ireland, where harmony matters but subtle signals do too, this approach can be surprisingly effective.
4. Check your tone, not just your words
Tone can make or break these moments. Come in too sharp, and defences shoot up. Come in with curiosity or concern, and you leave space for growth.
Try these softer but still clear phrases:
- “That’s an interesting perspective, have you thought about how someone from a different background might hear that?”
- “I know comments like that can land differently depending on someone’s experience. Can we unpack that a bit?”
Trust and tone create the conditions for honest conversations. Without them, learning shuts down.
Final thoughts
Calling out racism doesn’t have to feel like a grenade in the room. With the right approach, those awkward moments can become turning points. Whether you’re a manager, a teammate or still finding your allyship feet, these strategies help build workplaces where respect isn’t optional; it’s the norm.
And remember: you don’t need to be perfect. If you stumble? Breathe. Own it. Try again. This work is about progress, not polish!
Ready to embed cultural diversity and intercultural competence into your organisation’s DNA? Join the waitlist now for GORM’s upcoming Unified Business Programme, a structured journey towards lasting inclusion and stronger teams ✨
Aniruddha Methi (she/they) is an Erasmus Mundus scholar and trainee Social-Cultural Psychologist. She is committed to advancing systemic equity, inclusion, belonging and social justice for oppressed communities, actively incorporating an intersectional lens. Aniruddha brings over 2 years of dynamic experience across India, Canada, Ireland, and Portugal in results-driven project management, onsite and remote coordination of multicultural teams, and administration for national NGOs and psychology laboratories. Fluent in English and Hindi, she is robustly equipped to engage with diverse stakeholders and cultivate impactful DEI and intercultural competence initiatives in organisations.
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